I haven't completely fallen off the bandwagon...

Warning: I'm whining.

I haven't completely fallen off the bandwagon, but I'm barely hanging on.

The pain in my feet, ankles, and knees have really sidelined me from being able to run in the way I want to. That's made it slightly necessary to take some breaks from running. My mom got sick in April, spent the night in the hospital, and it took her a while to bounce back. It was hard to make myself want to go down to the gym (there's a small gym in the hotel we've been living at) because what happens if she needs something while I'm down there? It's always soooo cold in the hotel room (looking forward to going home simply so I can leave the room if the A/C is being run when it's 60 degrees outside) and it's hard to find the motivation when you're freezing to get into workout clothes that you're gonna sweat in. Fast food/restaurant food is reimbursed so take out happens more often than trying to cook in the hotel room. Living in a hotel does NOT equal vacation, but it's been hard to balance it all. I still run on the treadmill or go out and run around the city, but not every day. The other day I rented a bike with the Bike Share app. That was fun. I have some active moments, but for the most part, I've pretty much done a complete 180 from where I was a year ago.

I'm pretty unhappy with my body and with the weight I've gained. My clothes don't fit right (same size for the most part, but I've had to buy new stuff and you know how it is with sizes, but my body has definitely changed). I'm just super discouraged, and a good part of it is my own damn fault. (Other part is it would be soooo nice to have some support!) Frankly it's been hard. I'm ready to go back home. I'm ready to get back on some sort of healthy routine, and be able to have my own space away from my unsupportive family. I'm ready to refind my reason why.

I don't have anyone I can talk to about this and that's also hard. :/ I hate whining blogs like this when I'd rather inspire someone.