Find your passion and make it happen!

While checking Facebook, a Facebook post from former The Biggest Loser (TBL) contestant Shay Sorrells popped up in my feed about Jillian Michaels leaving the show for the third time. I used to be ridiculously addicted to TBL and I admit that I still watch it when it airs, but it is far from my favorite show nowadays. Where I used to find it very motivating, now I find it completely the opposite. And where I used to feel like it was a show that advocated good health, I now feel completely the opposite, especially with the previous season that aired. It did get me curious on how some of my favorite former TBL contestants were doing. I decided to look them up on Facebook. I found Abby Rike and then sisters Hannah Curlee, and Olivia Ward. I was just scrolling down to find some pictures or other sorts of inspiration when I found a post that Olivia had written. Since it seemed a little out of place (no picture, just a bit of text) I stopped and decided to read it. I am so glad I did! Here's what it said:

"If you think Bootcamps are bad...then don't do them. If you think spinning is bad....then don't do it. If you think Crossfit is bad...then don't do it. If you feel the need to tear other people down for THEIR choices in fitness because it WORKS for them...please dear Lord DON'T DO IT!! Everyone is different and every practice is different that is why one might work for you and the other won't. There are risks in any type of intense physical activity choose what is best for you...because the most dangerous is eating cheetos on the couch and doing nothing. Rant over."

After last nights blog was kind of depressing and very ranty, and my posts are sporadic at most, (although I do hope to get better at posting!) when I read that, felt like I had to speak about it. Mostly because I didn't want to leave my previously whiny blog pays to be the first thing that people see if they happen to come across this page.  Also, because I really could relate to it. If you're just reading this blog for the first time and this is the first post you're reading, hi! My weight loss is mostly in thanks to a video game called Dance Dance Revolution, or DDR. Sounds crazy, huh, a video game for working out! Not on the Wii, not on the Kinect (although they do have DDR games for Wii) but on the good ol' PS2, a system that is waaay old! Now that we've touched base on that, let me get to while I could relate to this.

I've had people say some pretty nasty things about my playing DDR. As started in a previous blog post, one person's opinion of my playing DDR eventually lead me to quitting. And then after a year or so, I realized that it was ridiculous to quit the one thing that I not only enjoyed, but worked for me. While unconventional, DDR works for me! Who or what gives someone the right to belittle what works for you? Do you look silly when doing something that works for you? So what. It works for you. Do it proudly. Is DDR a video game? Yes. But I dance proudly because it works for me. If you think DDR is bad, then by all means, play the game. If you think dancing around your bedroom is bad, then don't. If you think the treadmill is ridiculous, then don't buy one and avoid them. With that said, don't knock on what works for me. First off, because your words will just bounce off. They will not register in my brain, and you'd be wasting your breath. Secondly, because another thing I learned is the best person to listen to is myself - and you know what I say? GET UP AND DANCE!

Find what works for you, and do it. Who cares what kind of physical activity you engage in if it works for you? Find your passion and make it happen! In the end, you and your good health (and awesome body) will have the last laugh. :)

Motivation

I'm lucky. I've read other blogs, seem peoples comments on various places, and so many people say that staying motivated is very hard for them. I'm grateful that there are no motivation issues for me for the most part. Some days I am really frustrated with working out and I just want it to be over, but that is few and far between.

I think some of that is because I work out mostly by doing something fun (playing Dance Dance Revolution, which I will go into more details soon) but also, some of it is because I have a goal to work for, and I like to think and hope I am goal oriented. The fact that I have kept up this lifestyle, and do some kind of physical activity almost every night makes me think that yeah, I've got to at least be a little goal oriented, right?

Maybe I should explain what helps keep me motivated. Keep in mind that it might be seen as mean, or childish, or petty. In 2011, I was in a very nasty fight with a girl I once considered a very close friend, perhaps a best friend. Being friends with this person was tough from the beginning. We met when we were middle school aged, but we didn't form a close bond until a couple years later. I burned a lot of bridges to be friends with her. She has a different personality, I guess you could say, and one that not many people seem to like, or understand. I don't want to sound conceited or anything, but in school, I was known as the "nice girl" and if you give me time, I can find good in anyone, including this particular person. I was the person who would smile at everyone, who gave anyone a chance, or didn't matter what kind of person they were. I would give everyone a chance, and unless given a valid reason, I don't dislike anyone. However, when it came to this person, a lot of people didn't understand, and because of that, bridges were burned. As I look back, I can't believe that I chose that kind of friend either. I guess in a way, you could say she did not respect my feelings, ideals, morals or dreams at all. I don't want to go into details, because that's not what this particular blog post is about. Growing up, I didn't realize that she really wasn't a good friend, or the right kind of friend for me. The incidents that happened in 2011 just gave me light to the side that so many other people had been warning me about for years.

This girl said something to me one day, in the middle of our fight, that lasted an entire summer: "Julie, if you want to feel better about yourself, you should travel, or go to school, or do something else that makes you feel better to yourself besides DDR." - that's not the direct quote, but that's mostly the gist of it. Do something that makes you feel better about yourself than play DDR, which is a video game, but it's video game that has proven to work for me to lose weight.

I was really upset. Devastated. I stopped playing DDR because I felt pathetic. Even to this day, when I see someone and they're so shocked at how much weight I've lost, I can feel my face turn red. "Oh, I lost it playing a video game..." I shouldn't feel ashamed. Why should I feel ashamed? It's cheaper than a gym membership! It's a whole lot of fun! I've always loved it! I recently found that message again, and reading it just made me realize that this girl just never understood. Seriously. If you truly loved someone, and was excited that they were succeeding, why would you tell them to stop doing that?

From 2011 until August 2012, I just felt really pathetic. I mean, I felt like I didn't have any friends. I do have friends, but at the moment I don't drive, and my best friend, Aubrey, lives far beyond walking distance. I felt really alone. I had a lot of time to sit and think, and think, and think about the argument between me and the other girl, and then I realized that is what she wanted. She wanted me to relive her calling me pathetic, fat, loser, etc. And I also realized that my anger was justified, but I could do something healthier with it.

So I started playing DDR again. I channeled that anger, and I turned it into passion. I decided then and there that I wanted to be thinner than the girl I dislike the most. Maybe I was a pathetic fat loser. I can't argue and say that I wasn't fat. But that was going to change. I wanted to get to that size. She can't call me fat, unless she calls herself fat too! So that was my goal. That was my motivation, and I think I've reached that. I don't know, but occasionally I see her around, and I think so, and I feel proud. I can't call her up and ask her her weight, or her pants size! And, I did it all on my own. Hard work. Not only DDR. I walk my puppy a lot. I watch what I eat. I've realized that I enjoy running! I have a treadmill, exercise bike, and an elliptical machine at home, and I have a 3 mile floodwall near. Lots of sidewalk and two legs.

Sure, it's childish, but it's kept me going. I've kept that inside for a long time, just because it is silly, I know. But it's my motivation, and it is what started everything. And I've got to say, I know I'm not the only one who has motivation like that. I was watching Dr. Oz, and New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg was on, discussing the soda ban. This was a few months ago. Dr. Oz and Mayor Bloomberg discussed how he had went to the federal government to try and make things like potato chips, snack food, and soda ineligible to be bought with a food stamp card. Dr. Oz made note that Mayor Bloomberg's time as mayor was coming to an end, and he wanted to know if he (Bloomberg) thought that health was going to be his main legacy. Mayor Bloomberg said, “I’ll tell you ways to think about this: think about the person you don’t like most in the world. Do you want to be at their funeral or do you want them to be at yours? If that doesn’t get you to take care of yourself, I don’t know what does.”

On top of that, I do enjoy working out. I enjoy physical activity. I've become passionate about it, and it's something that I just love to do. I'm on my way to being healthier than I was when I was a child, and I love that. I'm old enough to do things with my life and young enough to enjoy it. 

Enjoying my workouts, knowing that I'm making my life better, and of course using past anger as fuel is what keeps me motivated. Now I'm not saying that I don't think about that person every day, I don't. I did in the beginning, and occasionally I do, but I also replay years of being teased as a child in my head too occasionally, on days where I am really struggling, and it gives me what I need. If someone tells me that I can't, I want to look them in the eye and say, "Watch me!"